Baumeister 1995 - The Need to Belong - Desire for Interpersonal Attachments as a Fundamental Human Motivation

Google Scholar Link

Baumeister, R. F., & Leary, M. R. (2017). The need to belong: Desire for interpersonal attachments as a fundamental human motivation. Interpersonal development, 57-89.

Summary

Humans have an innate desire to form lasting, positive, and significant relationships. The theory “suggest[s] that belongingness can be almost as compelling a need as food.” This could be evolutionary (social bonds aid in both survival and reproduction). This need to belong causes goal-directed activity towards social interaction. At a certain point, this need is filled and “satiation” is reached (e.g., most students do things with the same 6 people – their circle of friends stops there).

People need frequent interactions with another person. Ideally, that relationship needs to be viewed as temporally stable (existing into the future) and mutual. Social bonds are formed abundantly, even trivially. There is a reluctance (generally) to breaking bonds (this is why people keep sending Christmas cards for years and years). A significant portion of cognition is dedicated to achieving and maintaining social relationships. Changes in social relationships cause affective changes (both positive and negative). Lack of social interaction, or a specific quality of social interaction, has negative effects, including stress, unhappiness, and even negative health. Having a relationship with a person, but not interacting with them (as might be the case with long-distance lovers), is worse than having interaction. Similarly, interacting with a person, but not having a meaningful relationship with them (as might be the case with the postman) is worse than a meaningful relationship. Social relations can be strengthened by unconditional acceptance (p. 510). Involvement in activities can bolster a sense of belonging.

Application

A person who has meaningful relationships at work will be happier. The relationship between an employee and an employer should be two-sided and equal (unequal involvement in a romantic relationship predicts breakup). Actual interaction is better than no interaction (ramifications for remote work).